televised silence

It's hard out there for a blimp.

373 notes

Dino discounts

hotel-job:

GUEST: Do you have discount tickets here for the Natural History Museum?

CONCIERGE: The tickets we have here are full price, but the museum is a suggested donation. If you go directly to the museum, you can pay whatever you like.
GUEST: So there’s no discounts?
CONCIERGE: Well there are a few ways to get discounted tickets, but the museum itself is pay-what-you-wish. 
GUEST: So you don’t have any discounts? We really don’t want to pay full price.
CONCIERGE: We don’t have discounts, we have full price tickets. You can go to the museum and pay 25 cents if you wanted to. 
GUEST: Okay, we’ll take those. (she plunks down her credit card)
CONCIERGE: No. The tickets here are full price. The museum is donation based.
GUEST: You just said I could pay whatever I want.
CONCIERGE: That’s if you go to the museum. Here, it’s a fixed price.
GUEST: Are you gonna start making sense anytime soon?
CONCIERGE: No I’m not I’m crazy
GUEST: I have never been wrong my kids probably hate me
CONCIERGE: The way I feel right now can’t be healthy in the longterm
GUEST: I’m the worst
CONCIERGE: Me too
GUEST: Okay glad we could have this talk
CONCIERGE: Me too
GUEST: I love dinosaurs
CONCIERGE: Everybody loves dinosaurs
DINOSAURS: Climb on my back let’s have an adventure
EVERYONE: Okay

(Everyone has an adventure)

2 notes

How Pops Staples Got Named

elongreen:

image

Here’s a slice that didn’t make it into the published interview with Mavis Staples. It may seem like a trifle, but I think it’s a lovely bit of history.

***

Levon and my pops—my father—were the best of friends. You know, Levon is the only person, still, in all of our careers who would call Pops Roebuck.

You know, a lot of people don’t know my father’s name. And Levon would always say, “Roebuck! Roebuck! Let’s have a talk.” It would just crack us up so to hear him call Daddy Roebuck.

Pops was named after Sears Roebuck. His father and mother had fourteen children, and they ran out of names with the last two. So my uncle, Sears, was first, and Pops was the baby, so they named him Roebuck. So they had a Sears Roebuck in the family; seven boys and seven girls.

110 notes

NO BREAKFAST. Breakfast is a fool’s meal and I would rather be poisoned than eat a single bite of breakfast. Everything about it is baby food except for the vulgar American meats, which seem to have been carved straight off Paul Bunyan’s own ass. Eggs are just a shape, and toast is the reason the British no longer rule the world: too cozy and complacent. I do drink a coffee, though. I’m not going to pretend the Enlightenment didn’t happen.

Poet Patricia Lockwood Dreams of Roasted Pturkeydactyls — Grub Street

please go read this entire beautiful thing because patricia lockwood is a goddamn treasure

(via synecdoche)

Eggs are just a shape.

(via outofcharactersuburb)

(via outofcharactersuburb)

98 notes

But I don’t want to be noble and committed like most women in history were - which invariably seems to involve being burned at the stake, dying of sadness or being bricked up in a tower by an earl. I don’t want to sacrifice myself for something. I don’t want to die for something. I don’t even walk in the rain up a hill in a skirt that’s sticking to my thighs for something. I want to live for something, instead - as men do. I want to have fun. The most fun ever. I want a rapturous quest. I want to sacrifice myself to glee. I want to make the world better, in some way.
Caitlin Moran, How To Build A Girl (via highfashionboosh)

(via fuckyeahcaitlinmoran)